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A Tale of my Wind Goddess

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A Tale of my Wind Goddesses

 

    Greetings, my name is Sado Himiko and this is a story about me and of a very special someone. You know, it is not easy having two personalities in the same day, to conceal my individuality for the sake of stupid things such as honor, dignity, and image. Being the single daughter of a business magnate, I was blessed with a life full of privileges, luxuries, and wealth. However I am just a bird within a jeweled cage of gold. As a lady from the power class, I am supposed to be demure, obedient, and traditional. My father’s wishes become the commands I must follow, as it is my duty to obey him, to be controlled by him, to live the life he wants me to live. Even though pop idols, rich suitors, and even members of the Imperial family want to be part of my life, I feel lonely. Even if servants and employees in the mansion surround me all the time, I am alone. I feel I am not a human being but a doll, which whom father and society can play with. The person who changed my life and gave me hope to challenge all of that bullcrap was my goddess, my mother.

    My mother was the head priestess of the Momohana Shrine, a small shrine not affiliated with the Association of Shinto Shrines. My mother was obedient and demure as a wife but She was in reality a woman of power within her functions at the shrine. She surrounded herself with fellow priestesses and miko (attendants). While she was alive, she was publicly seen as the greatest example of a princess. She loved my father as he let her keep her shrine and her authority there. She was secretly a liberal as she supported measures to bring more women in the workforce and bring them fair treatment and benefits within my father’s conglomerate, although she never stepped in its grounds. My mother knew I hated the attention mass media gave to me when I was a child as well the isolation from real friendships due to my elite status. Thus my mother decided to take me to her shrine, she taught me all about the kami, the rites to makes them happy and the ways to run the clergy under her. Unlike many high-end priests, she treated her personnel openly and warmly as if they were her family. The people and the kami loved her as her dancing and kind heart gave them all peace and happiness. My mother was a great dancer, I watched her every night when she was making the deities of nature happy. Being 8 years old, I hardly understood the lore and the sense of it. I was captivated by the magic of her beauty and the rhythms her body created. My love of dancing came thanks to her; it was the greatest legacy she left me before she joined the kami

    The spring was coming and the sakura were ready to bloom. The spring festival was the most favorite of my mother, as she danced actively in order for nature to show its colors and to bloom joy and hope to everyone who saw her. She was wearing her long lilac haori with her red hakama. As head priestess, she wore an elaborate headpiece to complement her long flowing hair. She looked so graceful, with her wreath of flowers in one hand, and her kagura suzu (bells) in the other. As her dance began, she moved slowly at first to set a tranquil mood with her eyes closed. Her arms flowed with the wind, caressing it with affection. Her legs moved while not abandoning her ground, massaging the earth beneath her. Her fluffy tail wiggled under the command of the wind, following its natural flow solely. Then she began to howl softly with a feminine voice. “Auuuuu…..Auuuuu….” The flutes and drums began to speed their harmony, speeding up my mother’s dance. Her medium stage began as the sakura seeds began to bud but not blooming yet. This was her most important step, as she wanted to greet the newborn flowers with the kind love of a mother. Her feet moved away from the ground, her hips began to move side-ways, enticing the trees and vegetation surrounding her. Her howling became more continuous and louder yet with her feminine voice. “Auuuuuuuu… Auuuuuuuu…”. Then the climax stage began, her moves became faster, more daring, and in a strange way, sensual. As she gave a high howl, the sakura bloomed in all their might, with the music in its active peak, she kept dancing as the sakura leafs began to join the wind and accompany my mother as an invisible partner. The audience had their cheeks as red as apples with hearts full of joy. After the festival was over, I decided to ask my mother how was she able to pull such a spectacle.

    “You made many people happy, okaa-chan! Even the twees were happy, okaa-chan!”

    “My sweet angel, arigatou!” (She kneeled in order to hug me with full fondness) “You know, you should be dancing with       okaa-chan too” (she kissed my cheeks energetically)

    “But that seems difficult, you make it look so easy and fun” (I doubted myself)

    “Sweetie, my dance does not come from methods and practices, it comes from the heart, it comes from the love we have       to our world” (she gentle tapped my chest where my heart was)

    “Do you think I can dance, okaa-chan? I’m scared of people watching me…what if I don’t do a good job…” (I replied)

    “Your dance is not about pleasing anybody, my dance is to please what I love in this world. I love the wind, the earth, and     you…chuuuu!” (She kissed my forehead, her lips tickling it)

    “Okaa-chan, stop…”(I laughed)

    “You tell me when you want to begin. After all, you are part of this shrine, too” (she looked straight at my eyes)   

    “How about tonight?” (I responded)

Tonight?...I don’t know if Otou-san will agree…I will do my best to convince him!” (She hugged me again to reassured me she will not fail to convince him) 

    My father was quite reserved and mainstream in comparison to my mother who was more open and original in her ways of doing things. I learned to be very logical yet overly skeptical from my father. My logical self made me a star student with academic excellence, thus my education saw no problems. However being logical and objective can make a person colder and insensitive. My mother taught me to be spontaneous and creative, to build my own path rather than following reason for reason’s sake. My father personally opposed my mother’s rites and dances but his love towards her made him tolerant. This changed when mom wanted to teach me to dance when I was 8, but father refused. But upon much insistence, he gave me permission to learn my mother’s rites at the age of 10.  

    My training took place in a spring night at full moon, the night when the sakura would bloom during the night. She took it as the perfect opportunity to teach me her craft. The spring full moon illuminated the night with the sound of the cool winds. She wore her full regalia just for me, to see her in action. Her long hair waved with the cool breeze. Heir fluffy tail wiggled with anticipation. Her eyes were closed, looking up to the moon. She began to move her arms at the rhythm of the wind. Her dance was smooth yet full of fluidity, increasing her intensity little by little. Her fluffy tail wiggled gracefully with her, mine could not stop wiggling it at the rate of hers. My eyes went to look at her face, she had such a wonderful smile, and these went perfect with her eyes. Then she began her adorable howls, “Auuuu… Auuuuuu…” She got closed to me and touched my cheek with the flower wreath. The chrysanthemum felt so comfy in my cheek, I decided to lose my fears and stood up to dance as best as I could with her. I was wearing a Miko’s outfit that night, with a long haori like my mother’s and a hairpiece ornament made by her especially for me. Every time I did a bad step or almost fell, my mom grabbed me gently and set me cues to follow her. There were no techniques, no explanations, just like in Jazz, we improvised with what we had close to us. Ushio was my mother’s elder attendant; she was with us playing the flute in basic melodies. My mother’s dance reflected Ushio’s music and later my mother’s rhythms and howls will set the pace. I could not believe one could learn dancing without any technique, but my mother continued on.

    “Okaa-chan, I cannot follow you….(I stopped abruptly) I don’t understand…sniff…(my eyes began to be filled with tears           and wept a little)”

    "Himiko-chan, don't lose hope. (She hugged me from behind) You are giving too much thought on things there should not      be (her warming arms comforted me)”

    “But…but…I can’t help it, I just can’t (my tears were flowing like a small stream)”

    “Chuuuuu….(she kissed me in my forehead and put her face close to mine) Let your heart guide you, you know yourself         better than anyone else. Look around you and think of what you love the most”

    “Okaa-chan… (my tearful eyes gazing her) I love okaa-chan…I love you…(with tears of joy rather than doubt, I kissed my       mother’s cheek)”

    “Himiko-chan…(she began to weep as well) My sweet little miracle…your heart and your mind will guide you to do great       things and to find happiness.”

    “With you on my side, nothing will stop me, okaa-chan…sniff…”

    “Follow my lead, Himiko…(drying her tears) let’s dance together (she placed me in front of her to follow her cues) Ushio       dear, please begin the tune.” (Ushio began to play)

    (She began to dance again in easy steps for me to emulate) “Do it like this, Himiko-chan”.

    “Okaa-chan…(I was blushing, my mom was so beautiful!) Auuuuu…(I began to howl while dancing!)”

    “Himiko, you are howling, you are howling!” (She was so proud!)

    “Auuuu…I will dance for the one I love….Okaa-chan! Auuuuu...!” (When I followed her pace, the sakura blossomed and the     winds created a stream full of its leaves)

    “Dance, my dear, dance! Auuuuuu…..!!!”

    “Auuuuu….” (Our howling and dancing became one along with Ushio’s flute and the full moon)

It was such a magical night, we danced every night ever since. Sometimes we would howl in front of Otou-san to bring more fun to the house, he was reserved and very mature but he responded warmly by giving us a smile as if we were his happy daughters. We always sat down together, our tails intertwining each other. Ushio was our confidante, friend, and de-facto grandma. Although I was still lonely and isolated, I was happy for having them with me. It was not until I reached the age of 12 when the happy times came to an abrupt end.           

    As we danced during the last night of the spring, my mother collapsed into the floor. Ushio held her and called the ambulance. I was stricken with sadness, in fear of what happened to her. Before the medics could arrive to do something, my mother was saying her last words to me:

    “Never be afraid, Himiko… You are stronger and more brilliant than I could have ever become…(she wept) Okaa-chan is so     proud of her little miracle….(her coughs became more intense)”

    “Okaa-chan….Okaa-chan!...Please don’t go! You are gonna be alright! Don't leave me!”

    (She caressed so fondly my face, soothing my inevitable pain) “I will always be with you, Himiko…sniff…I will become one       with the wind and forever to be with you…”

    “Okaa-chan….” (I softly wept putting my head on her breast)

    “My little miracle….Chuuuuu….” (She then kissed me in my forehead the way she always did)

    “I love you, Okaa-chan….sniff…I love you…”

    “Be like the wind, Himiko-chan…be free and bring joy to those who need it…” (Her eyes began to close along her tender        voice)

    “I promise you, Okaa-chan….I will be like the wind…I will dance like you…I will bring happiness like you did…” (I went to       her and kissed her cheek, I hugged her with our tails intertwined)

    “Oyasuminasai….Himiko-chan…my little miracle…(we gazed each other’s faces as imprinting our last moment together)           “Daisuki….”(her last word came out as the last wind of the spring)

As she closed her eyes for the last time, I hugged her with all my strength until I felt no pulse, no response, no life in her. Ushio, broken as well, saw along side the medics a tender yet sad farewell of a mother to her daughter.

    The death of my mother was a tragedy for me and my father, happiness and love died with her as my dad stopped talking to me, loving me, to see me as her only angel. Probably he felt miserable just like me but being the strong man of the house he was, he could not resort in being kind to me. As mother was gone, he focused mostly on his conglomerate, leaving me at the care of the maids and retainers. They only saw me as their princess and boss, never as a human being. The only attendant to ever understand me was Ushio, but she was removed from the household. She insisted in staying with me after my mother’s death to care for me, but my father simply shone her away with a good retirement pension. As she left the manor, I could only wave her good-bye from the window, our eyes were full of tears as she rode her cab, yanked out of my life due to my father’s will. I became completely lonely and miserable. The only consolation I had was to visit regularly my mother’s shrine. The shrine, which used to be a center of worship and happiness, was closed by the death of its head and only priestess. I cried every night in front of the Honden, my tears shining with the light of the moon.  

“Kamisama, what sin have I committed to have my mommy taken away?...It hurts so much being alone…I want my mommy back…I want her back, please!” (It seemed as if the kami enjoyed my weeping and fed on my sadness) I…I… I beg you! (I collapsed in front of the tribute table, drowning in my tears). Mommy, please come back…come back…(my weeping complemented with the soothing sound of the night)”.

For three years I went to my mother’s shrine late at night, dodging my maids and guardians out of my golden prison into my only place of freedom I had. I have to say I was pretty lucky to have done that, being the only one capable of dodging my father’s guards at the innocent age of 12 until I reached 15. The first nights were the saddest and loneliest I ever felt. My mother was not buried at the Sado Mausoleum. Her remains rest within the Honden (main house) of her shrine, to be near the kami she worshipped. My mother became the shrine for me, my only place where I tried to find love and understanding. However as the time passed from nights into years, my visits began to change radically. Rather than weeping and pleading, I began to dance to sway away my misery and let the wind purify me.

    Alone in the night, with the moon as my only witness, I danced tirelessly. I remembered the flute melodies Ushio used to play for us while feeling the wind. “Be like the wind” was the last counsel my mother gave me. My mother has always been there with me, even in my misery. Crying alone in the dark night, the cool breeze came to keep me company, drying my tears, its sound filling the empty place. The wind carried a sentiment of being in motion, to continue regardless of walls and obstacles, to have hope for a better day. As a result, I decided to stop crying and feeling miserable. I chose to be like the wind, to be free and to forge my own path regardless of anyone’s desires and expectations. My mother made her best to make my life happy, I won’t disappoint her in drowning my self-imposed weakness. Against my father’s wishes, I used my mother’s full regalia to dance at the abandoned shrine every night. I think it is much better to remember my mother for who she was with joy and life rather than being lethargic and pathetic.

    Being a 15-year-old girl, I attended Gakushuin Academy, the most prestigious school in Japan. I excelled in all my subjects and was a model student. Heck I was even the class representative and president of the student council in my first year. My father never liked the idea of me dancing in the shrine, this was practically a sign of dishonor for himself not having his daughter not doing what he wanted. Thus he devised a perverse plan to change that. As I reached the age of 16, my father made me finish my school years in the United States rather than going to Hibiya High School. My father wanted to separate me from the shrine as a deterrent to end my insolence against him. It was our first ever fight.

    “I want to be in Japan, Otou-san. I want to have friends, not classmates!”

    “Watch your tone, young lady, you are my daughter and you live in my house, you have responsibilities to follow!”

    “Responsibilities? Is being a lifeless doll a good thing? Is being a prisoner of old-fashioned traditions for what you want me     to be?”

    “You better shut your mouth, Himiko! Your mother may have been more tolerant but you are under my care! And first           thing I should do is to demolish that damned shrine!”

    “You monster! I would have preferred to see you dead instead of her!”

    “You ungrateful wretch! (He slapped me, falling into the floor) Don’t you think I wept for her too? Every night I cried and       damned to the four winds….(his eyes began to get glossy) I wanted to kill myself, God dammit!...(tears began to fell) She     was my world…she was the only good thing I had in my fucking life…(she wept loudly, collapsing into the floor)”

    “Then why…why are you trying to get rid of anything she loved….(I wept loudly as well) Why did you have to throw Ushio       away…(broken) I was so miserable, Otou-san…sniff, I did not want to live anymore too, you know!”…(I wept endlessly)”

I was shocked! It was the first time, my father acted in this way. He was brittle, sensible, and imperfect, just like the daughter he slapped on to the floor with a bloody nose.

    After I finished my weeping, I was completely alone…maybe the coward escaped to fix his stupid honor rather than comforting his only daughter. The maids came to help me and comfort me the best ways they could, but I resisted them and decided to stand up by myself and dry my own tears without anyone’s help and pity. The damage was done; I was set to finish my studies in The United States. The only good thing I got from the fight, alongside my newly found strength and willpower, was my father’s guarantee that he will not demolish my mother’s shrine to stay as a monument dedicated to her. With those results in mind, I went to the US without fear. I knew the United States would be the perfect setting to finally be able to forge my own path. After all, I have my mother, my goddess of wind, to be my ally, friend, and guide.  

Greetings, my dear friends >^w^<

I finally have a new story for you, this is a complement to TechnoLove as a background story for Himiko, the mistery girl of the last two chapters. 
Unlike the preceding publications, this one I decided to bring more drama than usual. I hope you guys enjoy this new addition as much as I enjoyed writing it <3

I am very thankful for having such amazing folks like you and for reading this work I made with lots of love and heart >^w^< And as always, I am open to your feedback and comments!!!

Love you all <3  
© 2017 - 2024 NeronAntenor
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Dido-Antares's avatar
 Oh, pobre chica :cry:! Es triste perder a uno de tus padres, especialmente si se trata de aquel con el que tienes mayor entendimiento, y aunque parezca loco, hay veces en que las personas afrontan una pérdida de formas que parecen irracionales, como el padre de Himiko.
 Lo que me inquieta es saber cómo irá a desenvolverse Himiko cuando se vea en un país extranjero libre del control de su padre, pues cuando una persona es restringida por un largo tiempo y privada de expresar sus afectos, es capaz de muchas cosas una vez que se ve liberada (bueeeeno, la idea es que así sea, cierto :devilish:?).

Ahora, como crítica, lo único que te puedo aconsejar es que uses menos onomatopeyas para describir algunas acciones (aunque es sólo un detalle, nada más); sólo eso, pues la narración es muy buena y las partes en las que Himiko habla de sus interacciones con su madre son simplemente hermosas :heart:.

Te felicito por este capítulo :hug:!